Twas the night before Opening Day December 17th, 2007 at 9:17 pm

By Kris Richardson

It’s been a slow couple of news days in Twins Nation, but fortunately reader Andy P was kind enough to send in his rendition of “Twas the night before Christmas.” Enjoy!

—with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and Twins inspiration from Bat Girl—

Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the Metrodome
Not a trade was stirring, Johan Santana is still at home.

The uniforms were hung by their locker with care,
In hope that Liriano’s arm was fully repaired.

The fans were nested all snug in their bed,
With visions of World Series dancing in their heads.

And ma in her custom jersey and I in my Cooperstown cap,
hope no Twins are using that steroid crap.

When out on the field, Nick Punto is a bunter,
And apparently we couldn’t afford to keep Torii Hunter.

Taking off to second Alexi Casilla ran like a flash
Carl Pohlad needs to find more cash

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
I see Joe Mauer, decked out in catcher’s gear.

With a big Canadian driver, so lively I know
It’s that MVP we call Justin Morneau!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
“Is Matt LeCroy still a Twin?” I thought to myself

“Now, Redmond! now, Kubel! now, Cuddyer and Neshek!
On, Rincon! on Baker! on, Monroe and…and Neshek! (Really, what rhymes with Neshek??)

To the top of the porch! to the top of the right field bag!
Now dash away! dash away! Let this season not be a drag!”

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Smelling RBIs, the boxscore soon rose;

But crowd did exclaim, as the homer drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”